Tuesday, August 9, 2005

Can some check this very short essay for mistakes? :)?

It's supposed to be about a personal meaningful object. i just want to know if the grammar, spelling, and if it overall makes sense. Is there anything i should revise and how should i do that?? Thank you.

I can only think of one item of mine that I somewhat treasure, besides a plethora of photograph albums. This item may seem like any worthless knickknack to others but this small cross encased in clear plastic has such a significant and happy memory attached to it, that when I ever do remember I possess this item it makes me feel better if I feel down.
There isn’t much of a story about how I acquired this small trinket but it was about four years ago I went on my first ever trip to South Carolina, to visit my aunt Monica who had just moved back to the U.S from Italy, for a month. So while I was staying with her she had a visit from one of her church friends. I can’t recall his name but I think he thought I was depressed at the time or something so he said to me whenever I feel sad or depressed to just hold this and I would know I was loved and that people were praying for me, and that’s when he gave me the little encased cross. Even though I’m not very religious this object makes me remember that even a total stranger could part with one of the own possessions to help another person out due to kindness. At the time the action of receiving this small gift lifted my spirits exceedingly. In the present the object has the same effect when I remember I have it because unfortunately for most of the time since being down south the little cross has laid forgotten about, gathering dust, on a shelf in my bedroom.

Answer on Can some check this very short essay for mistakes? :)?

the second sentence in the first paragraph is kind of a run-on, also a comma in that sentence after item. second paragraph, i dont know if this matters, but "isn't" sometimes isnt allowed in essays. I would put is not. second sentence is a run-on also i believe. again, can't i would change to cannot. 3rd sentence is also a run-on. In the one sentence, put a comma after "at the time".

it makes sense though!