Saturday, April 30, 2005

I'm 15, male and I think I have an eating disorder?

Or, maybe the start of an eating disorder.

Hi, I'm 15 and from london.
I'm not really sure what to say or where to start, but I'll give it ago.
From about the age of 12 I've always been a bit self conscious, I'd always feel fat compared to others, for the last couple of years I've tried dieting, exercising and I'll get into good healthy routines and see an improvement in my body but then I'll stop bothering with the healthy life style.
Then recently I decided that I would make a difference and really try hard this time, I started cutting out junk foods, fizzy drinks and all that, but then I started skipping meals and I'm only eating dinner now. I know it's stupid but I've seen a difference in my body, I know it's not healthy but I like looking a bit thinner. My friends have started noticing that I don't eat much anymore and my bestfriends a Dad have commented on the topic and I flat out denied everything. My mums said that I dont seem happy anymore and that I'm withdrawn, I feel so down when i'm on my own but when I'm with friends and family I seem all happy. It's a strange situation because sometimes I see my reflection and I look into my eyes and theres just no life in them anymore, it's like there's two different parts of me. I have days when I'll eat loads and others when I'll barely eat anything. I hate talking about it because i cringe about the subject, but I know it could become serious. I'm a sensible boy but I have this determination in me which makes me want to keep dieting so seriously, my head feels all over the place. I attempted to make myself sick the other day after eating some chocolate, but half way through I picked myself up and told myself to 'stop being stupid and look at what i'm doing to myself.' My bestfriends have started to notice that I eat less and they say I never eat infront of people.
I really don't know what to do, I need some help. I know that, but I don't know who to talk to.
I'm embarrassed and I try to tell myself I'm okay, but I guess I know I'm not.
Do I have an eating disorder, even though sometimes I do eat a lot and I have at least a full meal per day?

Any help or advice would be great, I'm staying calm but I can see how I could lose control of this situation. Also, I'm not overweight, just a bit chubby and I've always wanted to be skinnier.
I'm not sure of my height and weight, sorry.
After I've eaten I feel like I've let myself down and that I haven't got control over what i'm doing anymore. I feel guilty for eating. On some days I wont eat for the entire day and I'll have half of my dinner at home and I'll usually tell my mum I had a big lunch at school. I try and drink loads of water because I think it makes me feel full. Sometimes I feel so on top of the situation and I feel great when people comment on the fact that I've lost weight but other times I just feel so miserable.

Answer on I'm 15, male and I think I have an eating disorder?

'I can see how I could lose control of this situation' are your own words. You have noticed you are not the same, not happy, no spark in your eyes. Your parents and friends have noticed. So, I would say, yes, you are probably on the verge of having a problem.
One thing that might be enough for you would be to learn about nutrition, eat lots of veggies, fruit, and lean meat and cut out the harmful carbohydrates, like the breads, unhealthy pastas, and the like.
People should eat a meal every 4 to 5 hours, giving their pancrease time to work correctly, so they don't harm that blood sugar process and pancreas.
What that means , is you could eat as many veggies and not gain weight.
I think you could ask to see a hormone expert, not an endocrinologist, but someone who has specialized in hormones and testing and balancing them. Test for food allergies as well.
You don't want to make yourself sick, comprimise your autoimmune system and hormones.
So, find the healthiest way to stay in shape, and include exercise that you enjoy.
Then you will be on target, and feeling well as well.
You can use your healthy concern to keep you in healthy shape .

Find a healthy role model and mentor.
If all that doesn't help you, then you do need the help of a professional.