Tuesday, February 5, 2002

Did he know that I was into him?

This past semester I joined a group of friends and we hung out pretty regularly. One of the guy friends in the groups was a class clown but I was very attracted to him. He and I never really hung out one on one, but whenever we hung out in a group I tried hard not to show that I was into him.

One time when we were at a concert, there were three of us girls and two of the guys (including him). We were all lying down on a towel and he took a thin stick and tried tickling each of the girls until he got to me and decided not to. Then another time we went in a huge group to the zoo and we split up into two small groups. Myself and one of his good friends (who happens to be my good friend) wanted him to join in on our group so I went up to him and asked if he'd come along with us. He smiled but then hung out with the other group the entire time. Another time we were both waiting for a friend to join us up and it was just he and I, I asked him what came to mind when he though of Italy (I'm half-Italian, my father's from Italy and all of our friends know I lived there for awhile). He said pasta and back hair (haha) and I (stupidly) said, "Really? Not beautiful women?" He just shrugged and shook his head. Towards the end of the semester we had a big party and he got pretty wasted, the girls and I wound up falling asleep and he stood up the entire night. When we were all saying goodbye that morning (he was hungover) he told everyone how he talked with this one bitchy girl the entire night who was pretty wasted as well and then said "Man, I could have just spooned Sophie (me) last night". It came out of nowhere. Finally, a couple of weeks ago when we were all leaving to go home after finals were over, I came over and hugged him and he hugged me really tight. I then said "Ok, that's enough now" and patted his back to which he replied "You really don't like me?"

What I'm trying to ask is...did he know I liked him? Did he mean like him as a friend or like him as in I'm into him when he made that comment? Obviously he wasn't into me but now that I think more and more about it I feel so embarrassed about how I acted and what a loser I am for even putting myself out there a little bit.

Answer on Did he know that I was into him?